Long time no see?
in this post I'll address the need a large number of people seem
to have nowadays,and its not restrained within a nations border. The
need to "out" people,and more specifically when it comes to hair in all
I actually wrote a blog post about this earlier but as I
was kind of annoyed at the moment,it wasn't wise to post it back then.
Still annoyed though,because there is a great double-standard going on
when it comes the use of "fake" hair,synthetic or not.
In my experience,the questions and assumptions are always directed at black people.
Why is that?
Because you think a small round Afro no longer than down to the ears in its natural state, means it isn't longer when stretched/relaxed?
Because their hair is hidden under weave/wigs it means they're bald?
or that the use of wigs/weave is because their own hair is ugly/damaged/short?
Curiosity about black people's hair is something I expect from a child in elementary school.
A grown mature person or any other person above the age of 12 shouldn't be so indulged into that matter unless it's pertaining to their own hair.
To some extent I blame the media. When word got out that Beyoncè was wearing wigs and weave it was all over. We KNOW for a FACT now,that this is the case because of the hair-witch hunt.
However,does everyone know that Eva Longoria also wears wigs? Did you know that many of the famous actresses in the U.S from the 50's also was wearing wigs?
Not many do "white person wearing wigs?"gossip articles out there.
It's almost as if publicly announcing to the world about a black persons hair status,is a way to demean their value in looks.
Yet do many even know the history of wigs/extensions/weave?
Do you know the history of African hair?
The Egyptians were the first one to wear wigs,made out of horsehair. They would shave their own hair of and then attach the wig with wax. They shaved their heads because of the heat ofc. Then there were the Romans too ofc. Then there was a decline in the usage until the Parliament of Great Britain started wearing them as a symbol of power and wealth. They were the 1700's Ferrari's and Aston Martins. In fact,wearing and shoving your own hair at that time symbolized poverty and bad hygiene.
This is just the story short summarized from my memory,but a quick search on google will give you the same information.
I find it ironic that there is so much demeaning and condecending attitudes against the usage of "fake" hair,when statistics clearly show that everyone prefer black people with straight hair instead of the ones with natural hair,yet when everyone do get their hair relaxed and starts wearing extensions and what not that's suddenly not ok? Black people don't come with the sleek and bone straight option.
Another thing that bothers me is this stereotyping and assumptions made about black people and the hair on their head.
Because it's long it can't be their own? Because it's red it can't be their own?
Or maybe I should be so direct as to say,"because they're black,I am entitled to question the authenticity of their hair?"
Do you see how racist that sounds? If you do feel that sting in the throat,then that is exactly what goes on,on the inside of the recipient when asked about their "hair-status".
Often when I'm out with friends or I meet new people,they ask about my hair. Or sometimes they just assume that it's fake. I don't know what makes me more annoyed. The fact that they assume it can't be my real own hair or that in their twisted minds they find it ok to ask about. Is the answer of any benefit to you? Do you feel better knowing?
Stop. It is rude. So rude I can't even begin to explain how rude it is,but I will draw you a comparison chart.
1. If I don't ask about your hair,why the f*** do you think that you should ask about mine?
2. Whether someone wears a wig/weave/extensions is none of your business. Do others care that your
extension tracks are visible from the moon from the back of your head? if you're a friend I'll trow
in a nice poke,and whisper it to you, if not. Not my hurr,don't curr.
3. If you do get so lucky,that I tell you about my "hair-status",that means I've let you into my
Chamber of Secrets. If you go around yelling from roof tops about it,I will turn basilistic on you..
4. Don't touch my hair. EVER. I'm not a dog so don't go petting me like I was one,I will bite you.
5. Don't ask to touch my hair either. I'm not a dog!
Interracial-friendship/relationship tips for people with friends of color, do NOT under ANY circumstance do one of the following:
Touch - Don't touch their hair,unless you have specifically been given the authorization to do so.
Hair talk - Don't talk about their hair as fake. Do I need to spell it out?it's R-U-D-E.
Ask - Don't ask if it's real or fake,you do NOT have the right to know. period.
Gossiping - Don't talk about their hair,with others or the person at present. Do you "out" your gay
friends whose parents doesn't know yet?
Assume - Black people have long hair too FYI. Whether they feel they want to share it with the world
is THEIR business. If you can respect the hijab,the idea is the same thing with weave/wigs.
I don't know why this is so frigging hard to figure out on your own? Sometimes I think this is a "white mans problem" because I've only experienced this with white people. But I really do hope it's just certain ignorant people without manners.
I feel this is either a way to try and embarrass others or a way to get their ass kicked.
All the things I've mentioned here,has happened to me and many others at some point. It's tiring,rude and makes us feel unequal to how one should be treated with common sense and manners.
If these rules and tips were too hard to memorize,then remember this:
"If it's on my head,it's my hair" - Naoki
The next person that assumes or asks about my hair status will get the same one in return,or worse.